Had a couple of beers tonight, and I figure it’s time to start some crap with other anglers who are passionate about their game fish of choice. So soak this up, chump-diddles: my fish is badder than your fish, and I can prove it. I give you the…
Top 10 Reasons Why Snook Whip Ass
10. Racing stripe. Need I go on?
9. You don’t catch snook. You earn them.
8. Snook remind me of leaner, meaner, faster, stronger, more cunning version of striped bass. On second thought, they don’t remind me of striped bass at all.
7. Snook have under-slung mouths and torpedo-shaped frames like pike…except they don’t writhe like snitched eels or smell like ass.
6. Anglers who pursue snook don’t strap on little booties, wear fruity colored shirts or drink spritzers in plush lodges. Snook are about as trendy as chewing tobacco.
5. Snook are moody and often violent, like that crazy chick you dated for a year or so before she keyed your truck and left with the rent money. But Lordy, what a year.
4. Snook paint a smirk on your face in a room full of pontificating trout anglers. Yeah, bamboo rods and lures that look like little bugs are great, and all. So is a fish that’d whoof brookies, browns and rainbows like Scooby Snacks.
3. Snook are like freshwater bass. And Jessica Alba is like Roseanne Barr.
2. Snook thrive in the unforgiving Everglades, where everything bites, stings, mauls or skips bail.
1. “Snook” sounds like a combination of “speed” and “nookie.” You do the math.
So there ya have it – compelling evidence that “snuke” rule the game-fishing roost. Disagree? Bring it. Unless you’re a tarpon angler…in which case I’d like to buy you a drink.